The Paradox that Breaks the Box
Frustration in my heart is a worm rotting the happiness in my life. I cannot stand this pain in vain, I need someone to blame.
Frustration turns into resentment, a thirst for righteous punishment. I am a victim longing for an abuser to exert revenge upon; looking for a dog to kick, for a goat to beat I’m looking for a throat to slit.
Frustration burning on my face, swelling in my throat, running in my veins, heating my blood to a boil.
Frustration bubbling in my chest like oil on fire; exploding in my fists bleeding on the wall I hit; frustration screaming at them all!
Frustration in my soul, is a child crying in a dark corner; aching for someone to care, begging to be heard. Hiding the sadness and the fear; trying to disappear.
Frustration at the infamy of life’s infatuation with itself, nobody seems to see; blind to the folly of it all.
To that little child in me I say come, it will be fine. I know, you are right; there is no justice or fairness to be found in this life, but there is more… I cannot allow you to pull the strings of my heart. If I act out of pain it will spread like the plague. Pain needs to be expressed, but to share it; to pass it on by acting out, is evil.
To that little child in me I say come, let me show you. Here is my pain; held like a gem in my chest it cannot touch others. It is mine. I spend time with it, I examine my pain till I can see through it, I explore my pain till I can walk through it, and on the other side I find peace.
This mystery is the great paradox that breaks the box and set us free! If you deny your pain; refuse it, hide it, pass it on, and act it out, it will devour you and burst out, It will swallow the whole world.
If you refuse your pain you let evil prevail!
But if you let it cut you open, and still hold it with compassion, you will finally find your tender heart beating in peace, bleeding in love.
©️ Didier Beaugrand 08/2020